October 26, 2006

• prepare to gasp ...

  i hate shopping now.

  there's nothing therapeutic about it anymore. sure, i'm treating myself to a black polo compliments of daddy's credit card, but it's only a treat because all i wear to work are polo shirts and one can only wear the same grey and white polos to work for so long. i'm sure my coworkers are starting to wonder if i only own two polos. they probably already figured out that i only own two sweatshirts.

  and only wear two pairs of pants: my cords, and my jeans ... because i've gotten too fat for my khakis, and it's too cold for skirts.

  i also only wear two pairs of shoes: brown and black. it's a treat to wear boots, which i confess i don't do often because they make me look like i should be ice fishing.

  i know i once was a shopaholic. i have a closet full of clothes, tees in every shade and style, and i'm a victim of buying in bulk during hollister sales. i own more coats than i really need.

  but i hate shopping now because every time i look at a price tag on something, i think of how many meals i could have for that price. i saw a tweed skirt for $128, and i thought about the food i would be yanking out of my boyfriend's mouth and instead subjecting him to my usual peanut butter sandwiches in order to purchase that skirt. my mom has started to wonder what i've been doing with the pocket money she gives me. she asks me why i don't buy the clothes i like after she's given me $300 to spend whatever way i want. she doesn't believe me when i tell her that goes into my food fund. i hate how the eateries near me take cash only. i don't like cash. i can't keep track of where my cash is going when it's just a wad in my pocket.

  for now, i just shop out of necessity ... like the fact that one elf hat with a big pompom might not cut it this winter since it's itchy as f*ck and makes me look like my head shrank. and gloves. i don't want to be the only idiot in manhattan without gloves this winter. even the homeless have gloves.

  but i'm never going near macy's again. it sucked my soul out last time, and the bf and i still didn't get the black pants he needed. stupid one-day sale hoax.

  p.s. i am still feeling as sick as ever. somehow i'll have to manage to get my staple items on my errand to herald sq [cuz i needs me the double set of gloves from h&m cuz i know i'll massacre one pair half way through the winter] without sneezing on the "kind" folks of new york.

  • 11:45 am
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