or at least a trim ...

and a month's worth of sleep.

i hate shopping now.

there's nothing therapeutic about it anymore. sure, i'm treating myself to a black polo compliments of daddy's credit card, but it's only a treat because all i wear to work are polo shirts and one can only wear the same grey and white polos to work for so long. i'm sure my coworkers are starting to wonder if i only own two polos. they probably already figured out that i only own two sweatshirts.

and only wear two pairs of pants: my cords, and my jeans ... because i've gotten too fat for my khakis, and it's too cold for skirts.

i also only wear two pairs of shoes: brown and black. it's a treat to wear boots, which i confess i don't do often because they make me look like i should be ice fishing.

i know i once was a shopaholic. i have a closet full of clothes, tees in every shade and style, and i'm a victim of buying in bulk during hollister sales. i own more coats than i really need.

but i hate shopping now because every time i look at a price tag on something, i think of how many meals i could have for that price. i saw a tweed skirt for $128, and i thought about the food i would be yanking out of my boyfriend's mouth and instead subjecting him to my usual peanut butter sandwiches in order to purchase that skirt. my mom has started to wonder what i've been doing with the pocket money she gives me. she asks me why i don't buy the clothes i like after she's given me $300 to spend whatever way i want. she doesn't believe me when i tell her that goes into my food fund. i hate how the eateries near me take cash only. i don't like cash. i can't keep track of where my cash is going when it's just a wad in my pocket.

for now, i just shop out of necessity ... like the fact that one elf hat with a big pompom might not cut it this winter since it's itchy as f*ck and makes me look like my head shrank. and gloves. i don't want to be the only idiot in manhattan without gloves this winter. even the homeless have gloves.

but i'm never going near macy's again. it sucked my soul out last time, and the bf and i still didn't get the black pants he needed. stupid one-day sale hoax.

p.s. i am still feeling as sick as ever. somehow i'll have to manage to get my staple items on my errand to herald sq [cuz i needs me the double set of gloves from h&m cuz i know i'll massacre one pair half way through the winter] without sneezing on the "kind" folks of new york.

I feel so effing sick. I don't know why I do this to myself, why I can take a whole sick day and just stay in bed instead of dragging myself onto a bus and go to work with all my luggage. I should have just put my cell phone in an inaccessible place so I wouldn't have called my manager telling her I would be in. I should have gone straight to the apt and gone to bed.

BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I had to be a moron and actually go to work feeling like I'm going to sneeze my brain out.

ergh!

Eid Mubarak

I confess ... I'm a salad addict. I can't stop eating salad from the
salad bar across the street. Meanwhile, my boyfriend is a soup addict.
One would think our favorite place to eat would be The Olive Garden,
but neither one of us likes it that much. Our tastes, however, make it
really predictable as to what we order when we're out. He always orders
something with a broth. I always order something that has something
green. This may explain why I'm always caught eating kimchi, and he's
always getting the soup to dip his rice in. We still haven't succeeded
in changing roles, as much as I know he wants to order the kimchi from
now on, and I can't let us eat at a Korean restaurant without him
ordering something with broth.

But I still stick to being the veggie freak, and he loves his meat.

And we both love cheese and carbs, as long you don't remind him that cheese is a dairy product.

UPDATE: I am so mad at myself right now. I totally could have
brought my laptop home and could have been playing WOW right now. But
instead I am stuck at this inferior computer and not being able to
install my trial disk. Cursed the Computer Gods!

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/17/world/europe/17cnd-britain.html?hp&ex=1161144000&en=711cb7232d405977&ei=5094&partner=homepage

I'm sure it's all over every Bangladeshis' blog or webpage or whatnot ... but if you can't tell we're pretty proud of Yunus and Grameen Bank.

The only thing that upsets me is that articles in the NYT and others cite that people have criticized Grameen Bank's continued efforts to better the poorest of the country rather than aim for those just above the poverty level, or have helped people in need of paying bills or their children's school fees. To this I say ... what does it matter if you give a microloan to bill payers? The poorest people have bills and taxes to pay too. The point of the microloan in Bangladesh was to raise the poorest from the vicious cycle of poverty, give them a chance to better their living conditions, and to change the image that Bangladesh is a country of beggers to one of a country of those who try to help themselves.

I feel people in the US might not understand the importance of ceasing to be a begger over educational advancement because there aren't as many homeless people out there, and we have the "blessed" Medicaid system and unemployment benefits. It's hard to compare the Land of Opportunity with the 8th most populated country in the world that's the size of the state of Ohio.

My snugglebunny failed to turn up last night ... so I couldn't sleep ... and I couldn't go online to track him down because I don't have Warcraft on my laptop. FYI ... I am suffering some major Warcraft withdrawal right now.

I should have called in sick today. I feel somewhat crappy and in need of sleep ... in my own bed in my own apt. As much as I've always loved my big bed at home [the same bed from Everyone Loves Raymond], I've gotten plenty attached to my little daybed in my apt. It's three barred-up sides are cozy, I love my comfy comforter with the new duvet cover from Ikea, and I have a featherbed on the mattress. It's this cozy little piece of heaven [even when my fav body pillow is missing].

Maybe later this week I'll call in sick when my body decides it can't take the morning grind for a day.

I'm embarrassed to say it ... but I'm becoming such the Warcraft
girlfriend. Last night I sat in front of the tv and watched South
Park's take on the Warcraft craze ... and then I got my boyfriend on
the phone and told him to never take it as far as they did on the show.
Sadly, he told me he had to get off the phone because he has just
signed on for a raid ... and that the discussion of having no life
would have to wait.

And even sadder is that I understood ... and let him go on his Horde way.

Even
worse is that I was actually peeved that Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny
were in the Alliance! HORDE FOREVER! Alliance is so lame!

*update*
He promised me a spot as a Blood Elf on his account ... teehee!